So I'm struggling a little tonight. I have a job interview in the morning and I can't stop worrying about answering every question just right so I get hired. And, honestly, I'm a little worried that I'll succeed in tricking people into hiring me for a job I can't handle or that I'll hate. Worrying to the point of a nervous stomach and a little tightness in the chest.
My mom said, "You've always trusted God before. Why stop now?"
That really struck me. And I thought, "Yeah, Big Mouth Blogger. Why ARE you stopping now?"
So I thought about it and realized that I was focusing on what I want rather than following God where He leads and waiting on His timing. It took a little journaling to remind myself that, ultimately, I really only want to go where God leads. I can trust Him, whatever the direction.
If God is leading me to this job, He is capable of sidestepping any stammering or lame-o answers on my part.
Likewise, I know from past experience that if we take the time to ask, God can be trusted to close doors we shouldn't enter. Years ago, in direct response to prayer, when asking for His guidance, cars have broken down on the way to my questionable destinations and college courses have been completely cancelled. So if this is not the job for me, I can trust God to close that door.
When we experience the closing of a door, even a door we were really hoping to waltz right through, nothing that really matters changes. We are still loved, provided for and sought after by our awesome Creator.
Oh, Dear Online Diary, after our little chat, I'm happy to say that the butterflies occupying my stomach have finally gone to sleep and I think am now able to do the same. I'll be sure to share with you later the results of tomorrow's - oops, today's interview!